My Cub
by st-potter
Summary: Remus thought harry as the responsible one for Sirius's death at the ministry.Would he forgive Harry? Find out in this one shot story.


"My Cub"…

Remus John Lupin was staring at the veil in the death chamber of the Ministry of Magic.

The fight between the Order of the Phoenix & the Death eaters had been ceased a while ago with the sudden appearance of Albus Dumbledore. The Death eaters were defeated unceremoniously & were struggling against their magical binding, casted by the order members.

Remus just stood there with a blank look in his face. A moment ago, Harry broke free from his momentarily loosened grip to chase Bellatrix Lestrange, who killed Sirius Black, a couple of minutes ago, with the unforgivable killing curse.

Remus watched helplessly as the body of his best friend Sirius fell through the archway of the veil.

'Sirius…..no …no, it can't be, just can't be…he will come back, he has to come back…not him too' Remus's mind was chanting this thought over & over.

'He is gone, he has fallen to the dark' a calm & rational Remus peeped up in his mind.

'NO NO DON"T SAY IT, DON"T YOU EVER …' Remus's heart snapped at the tiny true voice inside his head.

'Accept it, Sirius is dead. Take your time Remus, but accept it because it is the TRUTH' the voice inside his head is now calmer with a stern tone of finality in it.

Slowly Remus was digesting the truth & its absolute finality. His face was still devoid of any emotion. He just stood there, facing the veil, feeling hollow & numb inside.

Suddenly, a single trickle of tear appeared in his right eye & made its way downward & fell on the floor, leaving behind a faint track on his scarred cheek.

Remus turned around & slowly made his way to the door without looking back.

"Remus"

Remus looked up to find a familiar face looking at him uncertainly.

"Harry" Remus stated.

"May I …come in?" Harry was waiting at the door of Sirius's room in no.12 Grimmauld Place, with one hand still on the door knob, shaped like a serpent.

"I…just wanted to…to …talk…" Harry trailed off noticing the silence of the other man.

"Er…ok…may be …later… Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb your pri…"

"Come in" Remus's flat voice interrupted the young man a bit too rudely.

Harry sighed in relief & walked in the room & settled down in one of the couches facing Remus. He struggled for words. He was still blaming himself continuously for his Godfather's death. He was burdened enormously with his own guilt. The last month, he had spent almost every second to think about Sirius. Dumbledore's chatting session before the end of the year was apparently not helping to cope with the situation. He needed someone, who actually knew Sirius & him by heart and wanted consolation, a pure & emotional consolation, devoid of all rationalism from _that _person and from _that_ person alone. He wanted to talk to a person, who would grieve as much as he did, would feel the intense pain in the heart as much as he did. And who would be more right than Remus for that. Harry thought, perhaps Remus, too, was suffering in agony, bleeding venomously inside & like him, perhaps, Remus too, deserved someone like himself to share it. Remus was an adult & an introvert, as far as Harry knew him & hence he decided to come to him first to share the grief.

'I had just so much to tell…a moment ago, but now I dunno what to say' Harry thought bitterly.

Remus cleared his throat. Harry looked up at Remus & quickly averted his gaze towards the floor again.

"Remus, I miss him." Harry managed to say.

Remus raised an eyebrow slightly.

"I can't believe…I was so stupid…Hermione kept telling me that, it could be a trap but I was just so paranoid with my own vision & thought that… I just didn't listen to her and….I forgot about the mirror too… and he is gone now…for me…for saving me…I caused him death, I am the reason that he fell…I am solely responsible…It is MY FAULT THAT HE IS DEAD… "

"Yes, it is." Remus's cold voice cut in.

Harry looked up as if got pierced mercilessly with a sharp burning knife across his chest.

Harry instantly got stiffened by the stony coldness in Remus's eyes.

"Thinking after acting never really works. Your guilt, however, can't change the fact. It is done. Intentionally or unintentionally, doesn't matter." Remus continued in the flat tone that made Harry shiver a bit.

"However, I don't believe that you'll ever change… people you get closed with, suffers _a bit_ earlier doom, leaving behind the ones who truly care. But, you will continue to be _'The Chosen One', _by acting according to your will & your will alone and then …what is it… oh yeah …a bit of _missing them." _

Remus finished with a loathing tone, tinted with sarcasm. He stood up abruptly from his sit & walked out of the room without looking at the grievous, dumbstruck young Harry.

As the door slammed behind him Harry slowly looked up. He couldn't believe that Remus, his _professor Lupin_, his _mento_r & his ultimate and absolute _father figure _just said those words to him. That confirmed the fact, that he indeed was responsible for his godfather's death, or worse, not Bellatrix, but he indeed murdered his beloved godfather.

Harry bowed his head again, as fresh tears started to fall down from his eyes.

"I don't know Aurther,…what's up with Remus. He stopped taking wolfsbane." Molly Weasley whispered in a worried tone.

"Did you ask him why?" Mr. Weasley asked his wife.

"Yes, after I've found two destroyed bottles, I confronted him right away."

"What did he say?"

"Said that he is suffering from some allergic side effect of the potion ..but I doubt that he was telling the truth."

Harry heard Mr. Weasley sighed quietly in reply. Harry pulled away from the kitchen door to which he was leaning on to eavesdrop, as soon as he heard the name "Remus".

Harry quickly went back to his room, which he shared with Ron in the Grimmauld Place. The room was mercifully empty.

His heart was thumping at an enormous rate.

'Remus is planning to heart himself badly' he thought.

'I have to stop it. I can't loose him too.' Harry thought desperately.

'He won't listen to me, I know & by now he probably loath me. I caused him pain by snatching Sirius from him permanently. I can't cause more pain to him. I'll do whatever it takes, but I'll do it.'

Harry was determined. He quickly checked a lunar chart & found that the full moon was only two days away. Harry knew that Remus was going to the forbidden forest ground of Hogwarts for last two full moon nights for his transformation.

Harry started to learn the animagi theory since the end of his third year secretly, not even Ron & Hermione knew about it. He was yet to perfect his animagus transformation but he would do it in these two days.

On the full moon night, Harry was waiting at the edge of the Forbidden Forest under his invisibility cloak. It was couple of minutes to moonrise. A fat reddish moon rose in the east sky. As soon as Harry heard the first howl of the werewolf, he threw the invisibility cloak from him & transformed into a large leopard & ran straight into the forest.

Mooney, the werewolf stood there. Its eyes were searching for his mate, his Padfoot. It was getting angrier in every second, as it couldn't find him anywhere. Mooney was angry, very angry. It flexed its claw & wanted to tear every single thing. Harry launched himself forward. Mooney whipped around & growled at the sight of the intruder. Harry bent in his front paws in the intension to let Mooney sniff him & accept him. Mooney approached him, its eyes narrowed as it bent its head down to sniff the creature in front of him. The scent of the creature was not what it was looking for, yet too familiar. Mooney continued to sniff him. It closed its eyes. Harry's scent took over Mooney.

_AVADA KEDAVRA, a yell and a flash of green light and the body of a huge black dog was arched gracefully & was passing into the shadow. His Padfoot was falling , falling into the shadow. _

With a jerk Mooney opened its eyes. The scent, the scent of the creature, brought the death scent of his mate. Mooney backed away fiercely from Harry & let out a sharp & piercing howl. Harry shuddered. Mooney glared at Harry. His eyes were gleaming amber & were ignited with a savage fury. It leaped & within a blink, it launched itself on Harry's back.

Harry fell, on the ground. He started to struggle to get free but reluctant to hit Mooney, as he couldn't hit Remus, who, as he knew, was inside Mooney. The werewolf started ripping the skin on Harry's back digging its sharp claws mercilessly.

Harry screamed in pain. The werewolf continued to slice, continued to bite. Then suddenly it lifted up the leopard above its head & threw him bodily to one of the trees.

Harry felt as if his head got split into two as he hit the enormous tree trunk. Blood was oozing down from the back of his head. He felt dizzy for a moment but recovered quickly as he saw Mooney was approaching him again. This time he stood up on his four paws & decided to run & let the werewolf chase him. He executed his plan & Mooney followed with a fierce growl. With the leopard speed, Harry went well out of its reach. Mooney howled in frustration & it stopped chasing. It lifted both of its hands above its head & slowly brought them on its own chest. Immediately, Harry recognized the sign. Moony was going to rip itself. Harry flung himself to Mooney's chest. Again the claws dug into him, tearing him painfully. This time Harry freed himself with an effort & again ran off.

This continued for a long time. As soon as, Harry found Mooney in the verge of hurting itself, he let himself forward & got embraced by sharp tearing pain & then again he freed himself & ran far from the werewolf.

Mooney's claws & lips got tinted with the blood of Harry. Harry got bitten, slashed at different parts of his body but he was determined to save Remus from pain & continued to do his act. Slowly, Harry became exhausted & his reflexes became slower gradually. Taking the advantage Mooney pinned the leopard on the ground with a death grip on his four paws. It gripped the two upper paws of the leopard with one its large claw & with the aid of its legs it, pinned the two lower legs of the leopard to the ground. With its free claw, this time, it ripped Harry's chest mercilessly. Harry let out an agonized scream. He was gasping for breath & fighting inwardly to stay conscious. But somehow he understood that, he had already done his best & now he could give nothing more.

Suddenly, Mooney let out a sharp cry & threw itself off from the top of Harry & launched itself underneath a tree. Harry, sighed in relief as he saw a golden sunray had struck the ground. Quickly, Harry glanced at Mooney, it started to transform back. Harry rolled over & stood up on his four paws. He winced & fell. His legs were bleeding.

'No No ...Remus must not see me. I got to get out of here.' Harry thought.

He transformed back quickly & clenching his jaws, he stood up, ignoring the pain. His whole body was shaking & aching & bleeding. But he didn't care. He started walking as quickly as his injured self permit towards the edge of the forest where he left his invisibility cloak & a small vial of Dittany & wormwood essence.

Remus slowly gathered himself & pulled himself up in a sitting position. Somehow, he was feeling better. He glanced down at his body and arms, expecting to find gashes. But to his surprise, he couldn't find a single one, but he saw his blood stained hands. He got confused.

'How can it be…' he thought miserably.

Remus grabbed his robes & cloak from a particular large hole, beneath tree trunk & slowly put them on. He noticed the blood on the ground, on the tree trunk. His confusion grew. He remembered his full moons with Marauders.

'Only in those few times I managed to come out this clean…' Remus thought.

He started to walk towards the edge of the forest. Suddenly, he smelled a very strong essence of human blood, still fresh & not dried. Remus stopped. He followed the scent , seemed like it was coming from the lake side. As soon as he came nearer to the lake, the scent grew.

A boy in his trouser, covered in blood was sitting on the edge of the lake, with his back on him, nursing his several injuries. He had a very messy black hair, stood up in all directions & a bundle of silvery cloth was kept on his side.

Remus froze. His eyes widened in shock as he studied the raw gashes at the back of the boy.

"Harry" Remus barely whispered.

Remus saw Harry's hand shook as he put the dittany essence to his injuries. He saw Harry winced visibly as soon as the dittany touched his wound. Remus swallowed. Suddenly an image of leopard flashed in his mind.

'Harry…Leopard…' Remus thought.

A huge lump grew in his throat. He tried to swallow the painful lump but couldn't quite manage it. Not even in his wildest dream he would thought that Harry could do something _this_ dangerous & _this_ rash for _him_. Remus blinked back tears as he remembered his encounter with this teen two days ago. He felt a pang in his heart remembering the stricken face of Harry two days ago. At last Remus understood that only deep & true love can make someone to be _this_ committed to one. Only **pure love** can rob a person from all the logics of the world, as in case of Harry it robbed him twice, for Remus & a month ago for Sirius.

Harry tried to put the dittany on his back after finishing with his chest. Every movement caused him pain. He just couldn't reach his back with his injured hands. Suddenly he felt a warm hand, took the bottle from him & gently putting the dittany on his injured back. Harry whipped around. Remus was there. Harry tried to stand up but fell miserably as his injured legs couldn't support his abrupt action. Remus caught him quickly shielding his bloodstained head with one of his gentle hand against the rough ground. Harry stumbled. Slowly he gathered up himself in a sitting position to look at Remus's eyes but decided against it & instead gazed at the ground, fearing what he might find in those eyes.

"Remus, I am sorry…I know, I shouldn't be here, I am sorry, I am leaving."

Harry tried to stand up, more slowly but steadily this time, but dragged back to his sitting position gently by Remus. Harry looked blankly at Remus, who was staring at the ground too. Slowly Remus raised his head & locked his eyes with Harry's. Harry found a very warm, gentle & emotional pair of brown eyes looking at him.

"Forgive me Harry."

Harry blinked.

"I am sorry Harry. I was … I was…so full of myself…so immersed in my own grief…I was selfish… way selfish….how could I ever…hurt….you…I …I am sorry Harry…" Remus broke down completely. Tears were effortlessly streaming down from his eyes. Harry had never seen Remus to lose control like this before. He startled, not knowing what to do, he struggled for words. He wanted to comfort this man, the man at whom he often looked up as his father figure.

"No.. Remus…don't…I understand…It's okay…honestly... I swear…I still love you …& will love you …no matter what…." Harry got interrupted, as Remus was pulling him in an embrace. Harry stiffened for a moment but relaxed almost immediately as the older man's arms wrapped gently across him. Harry buried his face in Remus's chest & closed his eyes, as a warm feeling was growing inside him & filling up his entire self.

After sometime, Remus reluctantly pulled away. He started cleaning the wounds slowly & put the wormwood essence & dittany gently on the wounds. Harry let him do that without protest. Finally, he muttered "Ferula" & white gauze appeared across the wounds, binding them tightly.

Remus Helped Harry with his shirt & then again pulled him for another hug. He gently kissed Harry's bandaged head.

"My cub" Remus whispered.

As the sun rose high in the sky, the Hogwarts castle and ground witnessed, two humans emerged from the forest slowly. The older one is supporting the younger one gently with great care, wrapping his arms around the younger one's shoulder & waist. Slowly they approached to the Hogwarts gate together just like a father and son.


End file.
